In December I wrote about a lawsuit filed by a lesbian high school softball player, Skye Wyatt, and her mother against the Kilgore, Texas school district. Here is a December news item about the case. In a nutshell the lawsuit alleges that the softball coaches locked Skye Wyatt in the locker room and bullied her about dating a woman who had previously dated the softball coach. The coaches then outed Skye to her mother and kicked her off the team. At that time the school district defended the coaches’ and athletic director’s actions and it seems that they are sticking with that story. The school district has a policy that requires staff to reveal the sexual orientation of students to their parents.
I’d love to hear how the school district defends this policy and the coaches’ and athletic director’s actions. On what planet is it acceptable to lure a student to a fake meeting for the purpose of locking her in the locker room to bully her about what should be none of their business and then reveal personal information about her to her mother for no other apparent purpose than to cause her trouble and then to top it all off by kicking her off of the team . It’s OK on Planet Kilgore, Texas, apparently. I feel sorry for students in this school district if this is what the school district leaders consider appropriate adult behavior for professional educators in the schools.
And some people wonder why we need to address LGBT discrimination in sports. The trial is scheduled for November.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Does Acceptance of Women's Sport Require Dismissal of LGBT Discrimination?
On Sunday ESPN’s Outside the Lines aired a segment on Kye Allums, the transgender man who plays on the George Washington University women’s basketball team. The segment focused on Kye and his mother with a follow-up interview with Helen Carroll from NCLR; Wendy Parker, a sportswriter/blogger and Kevin Blackistone, also a sports reporter. You can see these OTL segments here and here.
Kye impresses me as a young man with incredible courage who has a clear sense of his identity and is willing to be open about his transition journey so that others can learn from and benefit from his experience. I am also impressed with GWU staff and the basketball team who have addressed Kye’s transition and the public attention it has drawn with fairness and sensitivity.
Kye’s mother shared her struggles with his transition and still thinks of him as her daughter, repeatedly referring to Kye as “she” during the interview. I can empathize with the emotions a parent must experience when a child announces that her or his gender identity contradicts the gender she or he was assigned at birth. We have a long way to go before most people understand transgender identity let alone accept it. Kye’s mother is wrestling with her own feelings and her hopes for her child. She deserves more support in this struggle. I hope she will reach out to some of the great organizations and people who could fill that role. One I would suggest is Gender Spectrum.
One of the final questions the interviewer asked Kye was did he believe that it was “healthy” for him to be playing on the women’s team. What a curve ball question. Kye was clearly taken aback by the question and wasn’t sure how to respond. I don’t blame him. What was the interviewer looking for? Was he assuming that it is somehow not healthy for Kye to play basketball at all? To play on the women’s team? Is he concerned about the general “health” of women’s basketball or women’s sports in general when transgender people participate? What did he mean? I think the question reflects ignorance about transgender identity and also anxieties about gender, especially when our preconceived notions of gender as fixed and binary get challenged as they do by transgender people. I’ll pick this theme up in a discussion of the interview with Helen, Wendy and Kevin that followed the OTL segment on Kye.
Helen Carroll worked with GW to help them respond to Kye’s wish to make his transition public in a way that was fair to Kye, the team and the university. She has worked with other transgender student-athletes, their parents and schools on these issues. As a former athlete, championship coach and athletic director Helen knows what she is talking about when she discusses transgender issues and is also committed to women’s sports in general. Wendy Parker is a knowledgeable sports reporter who focuses on and is committed to women’s sports. How she was tapped for this interview however is an interesting question. Her comments reflected a lack of understanding of transgender issues and insinuated that somehow Kye’s participation on a women’s team threatens the mainstream acceptance of women’s basketball. That is a big burden to place on the shoulders of an athlete who is merely trying to live his life openly according to what is true for him. Wendy even questioned Kye’s integrity by implying that he was only participating on the women’s team to retain his scholarship. How cynical of Wendy. Kye was very clear that he is attending GW to get an education and play ball. Having a scholarship is enabling him to do both. He earned the scholarship. Why would he suddenly not have a right to keep it?
Wendy also wondered why Kye would want to be so public about what she apparently considers a private issue no one should talk about. She misses the point that Kye is probably saving lives by being public about his own experience. As Kevin points out, we have a suicide problem among young people who are bullied because of their perceived or actual sexual orientation or gender identity. Wendy, though professing to admire Kye, seemed more concerned about the effects on his teammates of playing on a team with a transgender man. In, perhaps, her most ridiculous comment, Wendy even implied that the GWU team’s fall from the top ranks is somehow Kye’s fault and that Kye’s participation on the women’s team reflects a selfish disregard for the effects of his presence on the GW program and his teammates.
I know from reading Wendy’s blog and from her comments on my blog that she considers discussions of “social causes” in sport to be nothing more than politically correct distractions from more important issues in sport. Wendy’s message to LGBT people in sport: Shut up and keep your identities to yourself. You make women’s sport look like a freak show and impede our ability to draw mainstream sports fans and writers. Wendy was especially upset that ESPN aired this segment on the opening day of the women’s final four for this reason.
Wendy continues this line of thinking in her blog, where she expresses “some puzzlement over a self-identified male who wishes to be true to himself but still wants a place — and a scholarship — on a women’s team…Those were questions he avoided during the interview, and the lack of candor was obvious.”
There was no lack of candor in Kye’s responses, only a lack of understanding on Wendy’s part. I think Kye was incredibly open in his responses about his experiences and his relationship with his mother. It is really cynical to accuse him of lacking candor.
However, I am sure Wendy is asking a question that others who also lack information about transgender issues in athletics might also want an answer to. So, let me try. First, it is none of Wendy’s business (or anyone else’s) why Kye chooses to play on the women’s team. It is completely within NCAA rules for him to do so as long as he is not taking testosterone, which he is not. His teammates support Kye and have expressed that support publicly. His coach supports Kye and has said so also, even as he struggles to understand Kye’s identity. Kye’s basketball skills and abilities have not changed. He does not have any unfair physical advantage over his teammates or opponents. Don’t worry, Wendy, the women’s semi-final games were incredibly exciting Sunday night demonstrating the increasing talent and parity in the game so Kye’s participation hasn’t hurt women’s basketball as far as I can tell.
There is no relevant reason why Kye should not play on the women’s team. Perhaps the only reason is that having a transgender man on a women’s basketball team makes some people uncomfortable.
On the other hand there are lots of good reasons why Kye would want to play on the women’s team rather than the men’s team. His teammates on the women’s team are his friends. They are a source of support for him. Anyone who knows athletics understands the important role that teammates often play as a second family. Why would Kye want to separate himself from this, especially at this time in his life? Kye is a basketball player. For any student who loves the game and has played it throughout her or his school life, why would they give it up? To force Kye to play on the men’s team would mean, in all likelihood, that he would sit on the bench if he made the team at all. Why would he, why should he, give up participating on a team where he is accepted, supported and can get playing time when his participation is completely within the rules?
Wendy also writes in her blog that, “the women’s game is a full-fledged enterprise that long ago dwarfed narrow social causes but that still generate a very bright — and I think unwarranted — media spotlight.”
What on earth makes Wendy Parker think that sport, men’s or women’s, is somehow exempt from the need to address what she pejoratively calls “narrow social causes” that receive an “unwarranted” media spotlight? In other words she believes the expectation that sports, especially school sports, should reflect basic social justice values of equality, fairness and inclusion is only the concern of marginalized special interest groups who are forcing their agenda on women’s sports and impeding mainstream acceptance in the process.
Insisting that mainstream acceptance requires that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender athletes and coaches must suffer discrimination in silence or give up their right to participate in sports is so 1950s, Wendy. I believe that both sports and the general public who watch it are better than that. Things are changing. Not because we have been silent about social justice issues in sport or dismiss them as distractions, but because some of us insist that sports must change with the times. Kye’s participation and acceptance on his team are only one sign that this is so.
Kye impresses me as a young man with incredible courage who has a clear sense of his identity and is willing to be open about his transition journey so that others can learn from and benefit from his experience. I am also impressed with GWU staff and the basketball team who have addressed Kye’s transition and the public attention it has drawn with fairness and sensitivity.
Kye’s mother shared her struggles with his transition and still thinks of him as her daughter, repeatedly referring to Kye as “she” during the interview. I can empathize with the emotions a parent must experience when a child announces that her or his gender identity contradicts the gender she or he was assigned at birth. We have a long way to go before most people understand transgender identity let alone accept it. Kye’s mother is wrestling with her own feelings and her hopes for her child. She deserves more support in this struggle. I hope she will reach out to some of the great organizations and people who could fill that role. One I would suggest is Gender Spectrum.
One of the final questions the interviewer asked Kye was did he believe that it was “healthy” for him to be playing on the women’s team. What a curve ball question. Kye was clearly taken aback by the question and wasn’t sure how to respond. I don’t blame him. What was the interviewer looking for? Was he assuming that it is somehow not healthy for Kye to play basketball at all? To play on the women’s team? Is he concerned about the general “health” of women’s basketball or women’s sports in general when transgender people participate? What did he mean? I think the question reflects ignorance about transgender identity and also anxieties about gender, especially when our preconceived notions of gender as fixed and binary get challenged as they do by transgender people. I’ll pick this theme up in a discussion of the interview with Helen, Wendy and Kevin that followed the OTL segment on Kye.
Helen Carroll worked with GW to help them respond to Kye’s wish to make his transition public in a way that was fair to Kye, the team and the university. She has worked with other transgender student-athletes, their parents and schools on these issues. As a former athlete, championship coach and athletic director Helen knows what she is talking about when she discusses transgender issues and is also committed to women’s sports in general. Wendy Parker is a knowledgeable sports reporter who focuses on and is committed to women’s sports. How she was tapped for this interview however is an interesting question. Her comments reflected a lack of understanding of transgender issues and insinuated that somehow Kye’s participation on a women’s team threatens the mainstream acceptance of women’s basketball. That is a big burden to place on the shoulders of an athlete who is merely trying to live his life openly according to what is true for him. Wendy even questioned Kye’s integrity by implying that he was only participating on the women’s team to retain his scholarship. How cynical of Wendy. Kye was very clear that he is attending GW to get an education and play ball. Having a scholarship is enabling him to do both. He earned the scholarship. Why would he suddenly not have a right to keep it?
Wendy also wondered why Kye would want to be so public about what she apparently considers a private issue no one should talk about. She misses the point that Kye is probably saving lives by being public about his own experience. As Kevin points out, we have a suicide problem among young people who are bullied because of their perceived or actual sexual orientation or gender identity. Wendy, though professing to admire Kye, seemed more concerned about the effects on his teammates of playing on a team with a transgender man. In, perhaps, her most ridiculous comment, Wendy even implied that the GWU team’s fall from the top ranks is somehow Kye’s fault and that Kye’s participation on the women’s team reflects a selfish disregard for the effects of his presence on the GW program and his teammates.
I know from reading Wendy’s blog and from her comments on my blog that she considers discussions of “social causes” in sport to be nothing more than politically correct distractions from more important issues in sport. Wendy’s message to LGBT people in sport: Shut up and keep your identities to yourself. You make women’s sport look like a freak show and impede our ability to draw mainstream sports fans and writers. Wendy was especially upset that ESPN aired this segment on the opening day of the women’s final four for this reason.
Wendy continues this line of thinking in her blog, where she expresses “some puzzlement over a self-identified male who wishes to be true to himself but still wants a place — and a scholarship — on a women’s team…Those were questions he avoided during the interview, and the lack of candor was obvious.”
There was no lack of candor in Kye’s responses, only a lack of understanding on Wendy’s part. I think Kye was incredibly open in his responses about his experiences and his relationship with his mother. It is really cynical to accuse him of lacking candor.
However, I am sure Wendy is asking a question that others who also lack information about transgender issues in athletics might also want an answer to. So, let me try. First, it is none of Wendy’s business (or anyone else’s) why Kye chooses to play on the women’s team. It is completely within NCAA rules for him to do so as long as he is not taking testosterone, which he is not. His teammates support Kye and have expressed that support publicly. His coach supports Kye and has said so also, even as he struggles to understand Kye’s identity. Kye’s basketball skills and abilities have not changed. He does not have any unfair physical advantage over his teammates or opponents. Don’t worry, Wendy, the women’s semi-final games were incredibly exciting Sunday night demonstrating the increasing talent and parity in the game so Kye’s participation hasn’t hurt women’s basketball as far as I can tell.
There is no relevant reason why Kye should not play on the women’s team. Perhaps the only reason is that having a transgender man on a women’s basketball team makes some people uncomfortable.
On the other hand there are lots of good reasons why Kye would want to play on the women’s team rather than the men’s team. His teammates on the women’s team are his friends. They are a source of support for him. Anyone who knows athletics understands the important role that teammates often play as a second family. Why would Kye want to separate himself from this, especially at this time in his life? Kye is a basketball player. For any student who loves the game and has played it throughout her or his school life, why would they give it up? To force Kye to play on the men’s team would mean, in all likelihood, that he would sit on the bench if he made the team at all. Why would he, why should he, give up participating on a team where he is accepted, supported and can get playing time when his participation is completely within the rules?
Wendy also writes in her blog that, “the women’s game is a full-fledged enterprise that long ago dwarfed narrow social causes but that still generate a very bright — and I think unwarranted — media spotlight.”
What on earth makes Wendy Parker think that sport, men’s or women’s, is somehow exempt from the need to address what she pejoratively calls “narrow social causes” that receive an “unwarranted” media spotlight? In other words she believes the expectation that sports, especially school sports, should reflect basic social justice values of equality, fairness and inclusion is only the concern of marginalized special interest groups who are forcing their agenda on women’s sports and impeding mainstream acceptance in the process.
Insisting that mainstream acceptance requires that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender athletes and coaches must suffer discrimination in silence or give up their right to participate in sports is so 1950s, Wendy. I believe that both sports and the general public who watch it are better than that. Things are changing. Not because we have been silent about social justice issues in sport or dismiss them as distractions, but because some of us insist that sports must change with the times. Kye’s participation and acceptance on his team are only one sign that this is so.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Lesbians and Lingerie Football: No Muffin Tops Need Apply
I have not written about the Lingerie Football League because, well, I find it offensive. I am sure not many regular readers will be surprised by this. The league focuses on everything I find demeaning and insulting about media portrayals of women athletes: They must be perceived as sexy to men to get any ink. The LFL is predicated on this belief. The women are playing in skimpy sexy underwear topped off by shoulder pads and helmets. There is lots of skin, lots of T & A, probably lots of wardrobe malfunctions, which I am sure lure the fans like crashes lure NASCAR fans. The team names are things like Bliss, Desire, Temptation and Fantasy. It seems clear that the players are chosen for their appearance and heterosexiness as much as their football skills. Every one of them on the LFL web site has large breasts and small butts. Not one has muffin top or love handles. This is easy to see because that is what the photos focus on: lots of skin.
The video on the web site shows game action and, I will admit that what they feature there suggests that the women can play ball. There are lots of hard hits too. I worried if the helmets they wear provide enough protection given what we know now about concussions in sport. Hitting the turf in their skimpy “uniforms” looked painful too.
It actually felt a little creepy to watch the video. The uniforms are ridiculous – shoulder pads, helmets, thong underwear and push up bras. Are men really so shallow that this is necessary to get them to go watch women play sports?
So why am I writing about this? Well, one of the players has come out as a lesbian and she and other players from the LFL will be in Palm Springs for “lesbian spring break.” Any lesbian worth her rainbow tattoo knows that thousands of lesbians migrate to Palm Springs to participate in parties and events that go on at the same time that the annual LPGA golf tournament is happening there. This tournament used to be called the Dinah Shore Nabisco and lesbians have been flocking to Palm Springs for years to party during the tournament though it is questionable how many actually watch the golf or even know a five iron from a sand wedge. Anyway, Amber Elizabeth will be there and so will some other players apparently. I guess the LFL sees lesbians as another potential market for their pigskin and woman skin events. Maybe some of us are.
If I sound like a cranky old feminist lesbian, maybe it is because I feel like one. I am usually the first to celebrate when lesbian athletes and coaches come out publicly. It is a good thing for the women who are choosing to live their lives honestly and it helps to challenge the prejudice against lesbians that still lingers in women’s sports. I suppose you could say that an openly lesbian lingerie football player is breaking a stereotype too, I’ll give you that. However, it doesn’t feel like a step forward for lesbians or women’s sports to me when any woman athlete, regardless of her sexual orientation, has to pander to beer drinking heterosexual men’s sex fantasies in order get attention.
The video on the web site shows game action and, I will admit that what they feature there suggests that the women can play ball. There are lots of hard hits too. I worried if the helmets they wear provide enough protection given what we know now about concussions in sport. Hitting the turf in their skimpy “uniforms” looked painful too.
It actually felt a little creepy to watch the video. The uniforms are ridiculous – shoulder pads, helmets, thong underwear and push up bras. Are men really so shallow that this is necessary to get them to go watch women play sports?
So why am I writing about this? Well, one of the players has come out as a lesbian and she and other players from the LFL will be in Palm Springs for “lesbian spring break.” Any lesbian worth her rainbow tattoo knows that thousands of lesbians migrate to Palm Springs to participate in parties and events that go on at the same time that the annual LPGA golf tournament is happening there. This tournament used to be called the Dinah Shore Nabisco and lesbians have been flocking to Palm Springs for years to party during the tournament though it is questionable how many actually watch the golf or even know a five iron from a sand wedge. Anyway, Amber Elizabeth will be there and so will some other players apparently. I guess the LFL sees lesbians as another potential market for their pigskin and woman skin events. Maybe some of us are.
If I sound like a cranky old feminist lesbian, maybe it is because I feel like one. I am usually the first to celebrate when lesbian athletes and coaches come out publicly. It is a good thing for the women who are choosing to live their lives honestly and it helps to challenge the prejudice against lesbians that still lingers in women’s sports. I suppose you could say that an openly lesbian lingerie football player is breaking a stereotype too, I’ll give you that. However, it doesn’t feel like a step forward for lesbians or women’s sports to me when any woman athlete, regardless of her sexual orientation, has to pander to beer drinking heterosexual men’s sex fantasies in order get attention.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Changing the Game: The GLSEN Sports Project: Respect. Are You Bringin’ It?
I am really pleased to share some great news with you: GLSEN (Gay Straight Education Network) has launched “Changing the Game: The GLSEN Sports Project.” The project mission is to make K-12 athletics and physical education safe, respectful and inclusive for students of all sexual orientations and gender identities/expressions. Our primary target audiences are K-12 coaches, athletic administrators, physical education teachers, students and parents.
I’ve been working with GLSEN (as director of the project for several months to design the project and get our web site up and running. We have some exciting resources on the site now and will adding more each month. Here is a short selection of some of the resources you will find on the web site as we continue to add new content:
• Policy and Best Practice recommendations for making sports and physical education inclusive and respectful for LGBT students.
• The Team Respect Challenge: An invitation to school sports teams to take the Team Respect Challenge to be leaders promoting respect and standing against bullying and name-calling on their teams and in their schools. We post Team Respect Challenge team photos on our website.
• The Safe Sports Space Campaign: A campaign to raise awareness of the importance of making school sports spaces (gyms, locker rooms, playing fields and classrooms) safe for students of all sexual orientations and gender identities/expressions. We’ve got Safe Sports Space stickers and some Safe Sports Space Rules to post in schools to remind everyone what it means to have a safe sport space.
• The Game Changer Video Project: An invitation to K-12 coaches, students, parents and friends to make and send us a short video about someone in their school who “changes the game” by taking leadership to make sports or physical education safe and welcoming for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.
• A Changing the Game blog where we will invite students, coaches, teachers and LGBT sports advocates to share their experiences, ideas and perspectives each month.
• Links to other great resources like Athlete Ally, Our Group, NCLR Sports Project, Fearless Photo Exhibit and Outsports.com.
• Staff development modules for coaches and teachers as well as on-site training programs that GLSEN sports staff will lead in schools.
• We also have some terrific Changing the Game caps, tee shirts and stickers you can purchase at the GLSEN online store.
• And more.
I’ve had some great help developing the project, not only from the folks at GLSEN, but also from a distinguished advisory group of twenty people who each has a demonstrated commitment to making sports a great place for LGBT people. We also have a wonderful Changing the Game All Star Team of well known sportspeople from professional and Olympic sports who endorse our efforts and are committed to our goals of making sports a great place for all students.
Changing the Game will also have a Facebook page (Join us) and we’ll be on Twitter too (Follow us). If you are in K-12 schools or if you have friends who work in or attend or have children in K-12 schools, send them our web site address – sports.glsen.org. Or send our web address to your high school alma mater. Help us spread the word about Changing the Game. With you help we can do it. Respect. Are YOU Bringin’ It?
I’ve been working with GLSEN (as director of the project for several months to design the project and get our web site up and running. We have some exciting resources on the site now and will adding more each month. Here is a short selection of some of the resources you will find on the web site as we continue to add new content:
• Policy and Best Practice recommendations for making sports and physical education inclusive and respectful for LGBT students.
• The Team Respect Challenge: An invitation to school sports teams to take the Team Respect Challenge to be leaders promoting respect and standing against bullying and name-calling on their teams and in their schools. We post Team Respect Challenge team photos on our website.
• The Safe Sports Space Campaign: A campaign to raise awareness of the importance of making school sports spaces (gyms, locker rooms, playing fields and classrooms) safe for students of all sexual orientations and gender identities/expressions. We’ve got Safe Sports Space stickers and some Safe Sports Space Rules to post in schools to remind everyone what it means to have a safe sport space.
• The Game Changer Video Project: An invitation to K-12 coaches, students, parents and friends to make and send us a short video about someone in their school who “changes the game” by taking leadership to make sports or physical education safe and welcoming for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.
• A Changing the Game blog where we will invite students, coaches, teachers and LGBT sports advocates to share their experiences, ideas and perspectives each month.
• Links to other great resources like Athlete Ally, Our Group, NCLR Sports Project, Fearless Photo Exhibit and Outsports.com.
• Staff development modules for coaches and teachers as well as on-site training programs that GLSEN sports staff will lead in schools.
• We also have some terrific Changing the Game caps, tee shirts and stickers you can purchase at the GLSEN online store.
• And more.
I’ve had some great help developing the project, not only from the folks at GLSEN, but also from a distinguished advisory group of twenty people who each has a demonstrated commitment to making sports a great place for LGBT people. We also have a wonderful Changing the Game All Star Team of well known sportspeople from professional and Olympic sports who endorse our efforts and are committed to our goals of making sports a great place for all students.
Changing the Game will also have a Facebook page (Join us) and we’ll be on Twitter too (Follow us). If you are in K-12 schools or if you have friends who work in or attend or have children in K-12 schools, send them our web site address – sports.glsen.org. Or send our web address to your high school alma mater. Help us spread the word about Changing the Game. With you help we can do it. Respect. Are YOU Bringin’ It?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Being LGBT at BYU
Brigham Young University recently dismissed star basketball player, Brandon Davies, from the men’s basketball team for violating the school’s honor code. Brandon had sex with his girlfriend. BYU is a Mormon school and the honor code reflects the church’s conservative views on sex and sexuality. After hearing about this, I thought about what it must be like to be an LGBT athlete at BYU. If premarital heterosexual sex is not tolerated, what would the school think of gay sex? Not to fear, the honor code has it covered:
“Brigham Young University will respond to homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or attraction and welcomes as full members of the university community all whose behavior meets university standards. Members of the university community can remain in good Honor Code standing if they conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code.
One's stated same-gender attraction is not an Honor Code issue. However, the Honor Code requires all members of the university community to manifest a strict commitment to the law of chastity. Homosexual behavior is inappropriate and violates the Honor Code. Homosexual behavior includes not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings.”
In a nutshell, gay and lesbian students and staff are “welcome” in the university community as long as they don’t engage in any “form of physical intimacy that gives expression to homosexual feelings.” You can say you are gay, according to the honor code, but you are expected to commit yourself to the law of chastity, just like all unmarried heterosexuals on campus are.
On one hand, given Brandon Davies’ dismissal from the basketball team, it seems that BYU takes the sexual conduct part of the honor code seriously no matter what the sexual orientation of a student is. On the other hand, the honor code devotes an entire section to “Homosexual Behavior” making it clear that even holding hands with someone of the same sex could be grounds for an honor code violation whereas heterosexual couples need to actually have sex in order to violate the code.
What must it be like to be an LGBT athlete at BYU? I am sure they are there. We are, as the slogan goes, everywhere. Outsports asked this question recently and several readers made comments about LGBT athletes they know who have been students at BYU.
Students who enroll at BYU know what they are committing themselves to, but many young people do not identify themselves as gay until after they are in college. What must it be like to come from a Mormon family, identify as a Morman AND be lesbian, gay or bisexual?
As a private school, BYU has the right to determine and enforce its honor code. It certainly is clearer than the ambiguous and unspoken “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that got soccer coach Lisa Howe in trouble at Belmont University. This difference notwithstanding, the insistence that being LGBT and being a devout and honorable person of faith are completely incompatible often leads to dishonesty and secrecy. That is some burden for a young person already dealing with the academic, athletic and social challenges of being away from home for the first time. Who could you talk to? I doubt if BYU has an LGBT Center or that campus counseling services include gay-affirmative staff. Even though you can identify yourself as gay without violating the honor code, it must be difficult to do so. Given the Mormons’ condemnation of homosexual behavior, how could you feel good about being lesbian or gay?
I was recently contacted by a reporter interested in doing a story on this topic who wanted to know if I had any contacts with LGBT athletes at BYU. I don’t. Neither do Jim or Cyd at Outsports. The BYU closet is too deep. The message to LGBT athletes from Brandon Davies’ dismissal from a team headed for the post-season is this: If they would dismiss a star heterosexual athlete for having sex with his girlfriend, there is no way it is safe for an LGBT athlete to come out, much less have a relationship at BYU. All it takes is for one teammate or one classmate or one coach to find out and tell on you and it is over.
The truly sad thing is that even in public universities where LGBT students’ rights are supposed to be protected, all it takes is to have a coach who believes that being LGBT is morally wrong or a disruption to the team and an athlete’s career can be just as much in jeopardy. It happens in women’s sports all the time. Coaches can and do act on their personal prejudices even when school policies and state laws should protect students from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. Too often administrators look the other way or back the coach. At least BYU is being consistent with the values the university and the Mormon religion espouses. We don’t have to like it. As a private religious school, they have the right. I am more upset about public schools that enable, condone, ignore discrimination against LGBT coaches and athletes even as they claim to be committed to protecting the rights of LGBT people on campus. That kind of hypocrisy is really difficult to see and just as painful for the young people who suffer because of it.
“Brigham Young University will respond to homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or attraction and welcomes as full members of the university community all whose behavior meets university standards. Members of the university community can remain in good Honor Code standing if they conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code.
One's stated same-gender attraction is not an Honor Code issue. However, the Honor Code requires all members of the university community to manifest a strict commitment to the law of chastity. Homosexual behavior is inappropriate and violates the Honor Code. Homosexual behavior includes not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings.”
In a nutshell, gay and lesbian students and staff are “welcome” in the university community as long as they don’t engage in any “form of physical intimacy that gives expression to homosexual feelings.” You can say you are gay, according to the honor code, but you are expected to commit yourself to the law of chastity, just like all unmarried heterosexuals on campus are.
On one hand, given Brandon Davies’ dismissal from the basketball team, it seems that BYU takes the sexual conduct part of the honor code seriously no matter what the sexual orientation of a student is. On the other hand, the honor code devotes an entire section to “Homosexual Behavior” making it clear that even holding hands with someone of the same sex could be grounds for an honor code violation whereas heterosexual couples need to actually have sex in order to violate the code.
What must it be like to be an LGBT athlete at BYU? I am sure they are there. We are, as the slogan goes, everywhere. Outsports asked this question recently and several readers made comments about LGBT athletes they know who have been students at BYU.
Students who enroll at BYU know what they are committing themselves to, but many young people do not identify themselves as gay until after they are in college. What must it be like to come from a Mormon family, identify as a Morman AND be lesbian, gay or bisexual?
As a private school, BYU has the right to determine and enforce its honor code. It certainly is clearer than the ambiguous and unspoken “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that got soccer coach Lisa Howe in trouble at Belmont University. This difference notwithstanding, the insistence that being LGBT and being a devout and honorable person of faith are completely incompatible often leads to dishonesty and secrecy. That is some burden for a young person already dealing with the academic, athletic and social challenges of being away from home for the first time. Who could you talk to? I doubt if BYU has an LGBT Center or that campus counseling services include gay-affirmative staff. Even though you can identify yourself as gay without violating the honor code, it must be difficult to do so. Given the Mormons’ condemnation of homosexual behavior, how could you feel good about being lesbian or gay?
I was recently contacted by a reporter interested in doing a story on this topic who wanted to know if I had any contacts with LGBT athletes at BYU. I don’t. Neither do Jim or Cyd at Outsports. The BYU closet is too deep. The message to LGBT athletes from Brandon Davies’ dismissal from a team headed for the post-season is this: If they would dismiss a star heterosexual athlete for having sex with his girlfriend, there is no way it is safe for an LGBT athlete to come out, much less have a relationship at BYU. All it takes is for one teammate or one classmate or one coach to find out and tell on you and it is over.
The truly sad thing is that even in public universities where LGBT students’ rights are supposed to be protected, all it takes is to have a coach who believes that being LGBT is morally wrong or a disruption to the team and an athlete’s career can be just as much in jeopardy. It happens in women’s sports all the time. Coaches can and do act on their personal prejudices even when school policies and state laws should protect students from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. Too often administrators look the other way or back the coach. At least BYU is being consistent with the values the university and the Mormon religion espouses. We don’t have to like it. As a private religious school, they have the right. I am more upset about public schools that enable, condone, ignore discrimination against LGBT coaches and athletes even as they claim to be committed to protecting the rights of LGBT people on campus. That kind of hypocrisy is really difficult to see and just as painful for the young people who suffer because of it.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes at Belmont University
Lots has changed at Belmont University since the December departure of lesbian women’s soccer coach, Lisa Howe. Howe and Belmont parted company by mutual agreement according to official accounts, but this tortured non-explanation of why the popular and successful coach left never made any sense. What did make sense was what her players reported being told by university administrators: Howe was pushed out because she is a lesbian and that was incompatible with the university’s Christian views.
After lots of negative media attention, student protests and public outcry, including a threat to withdraw financial support by a major university donor, it seems that Belmont has seen the light. In quick succession, the university has made two significant policy changes - the university has amended its non-discrimination policy to include sexual orientation as an enumerated category. Bizarrely, the university president still insists that this change is merely making official what the university policy has always been, actions to the contrary. The second change is that the university has bestowed official recognition to an LGBT student group that has previously been denied recognition twice.
You’ll have to forgive my cynicism. I think the only reason Belmont made these policy changes is that they were forced to by the public outcry and, more importantly, the potential loss of a major donor.
The third change is that Belmont has hired a new women’s soccer coach. Despite calls to rehire Lisa Howe, this was not to be. The new coach, Heather Henson, is married to a man so all is right with the world again at Belmont. I am happy they hired a woman to coach the women’s team rather than hiring a heterosexual man to eliminate the possibility of inadvertently hiring another lesbian as some other schools have done. Think LSU post Pokey Chatman.
I am happy that Belmont has been pressured into making these changes and I do hope that the university is sincere in backing their new gay affirmative policies with action and commitment. We’ll see. It just seems a shame to me that Lisa Howe is still out of a job at Belmont, a job she apparently did very well until she made the mistake of being honest and open. I hope that her sacrifice results in actual change in life on campus for other LGBT staff and students. At least then her loss will have meant something. Time will tell.
Perhaps Belmont is part of a new kinder, gentler Christian perspective on homosexuality in which LGBT people can be respected, if not accepted and in which the fact that some LGBT people are Christians too is not viewed as an oxymoron. We’ll see.
After lots of negative media attention, student protests and public outcry, including a threat to withdraw financial support by a major university donor, it seems that Belmont has seen the light. In quick succession, the university has made two significant policy changes - the university has amended its non-discrimination policy to include sexual orientation as an enumerated category. Bizarrely, the university president still insists that this change is merely making official what the university policy has always been, actions to the contrary. The second change is that the university has bestowed official recognition to an LGBT student group that has previously been denied recognition twice.
You’ll have to forgive my cynicism. I think the only reason Belmont made these policy changes is that they were forced to by the public outcry and, more importantly, the potential loss of a major donor.
The third change is that Belmont has hired a new women’s soccer coach. Despite calls to rehire Lisa Howe, this was not to be. The new coach, Heather Henson, is married to a man so all is right with the world again at Belmont. I am happy they hired a woman to coach the women’s team rather than hiring a heterosexual man to eliminate the possibility of inadvertently hiring another lesbian as some other schools have done. Think LSU post Pokey Chatman.
I am happy that Belmont has been pressured into making these changes and I do hope that the university is sincere in backing their new gay affirmative policies with action and commitment. We’ll see. It just seems a shame to me that Lisa Howe is still out of a job at Belmont, a job she apparently did very well until she made the mistake of being honest and open. I hope that her sacrifice results in actual change in life on campus for other LGBT staff and students. At least then her loss will have meant something. Time will tell.
Perhaps Belmont is part of a new kinder, gentler Christian perspective on homosexuality in which LGBT people can be respected, if not accepted and in which the fact that some LGBT people are Christians too is not viewed as an oxymoron. We’ll see.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Remembering Betty Hicks (1920-2011)
Let’s play a little sports Jeopardy. The category is Women Sports Pioneers.
The answers in this category are:
• Winner of the 1941 U.S. Women’s Amateur Golf Championship.
• 1941 Associated Press Female Athlete of the Year.
• Founder of the Women’s Professional Golf Association, the precursor to the LPGA.
• One of the founding players on the LPGA and contemporary of Babe Didrikson Zaharias.
• Professional woman golfer who, along with Babe Didrikson Zaharias, appeared in “Pat and Mike” the 1952 Hepburn & Tracy movie.
• Golf teacher, golf coach, aviator, flight instructor, author and gourmet cook.
• Inductee into the Women Sports Foundation International Hall of Fame
The question for all of these answers is: Who is Betty Hicks?
Betty Hicks was also the first woman athlete to write about lesbian athletes. Her 1979 article appeared in Christopher Street, a now defunct gay publication. I found it in the early 1980’s while doing my own research on the topic. When I had the opportunity to meet this gutsy and accomplished Renaissance woman I jumped at the chance. I was in the process of gathering information and doing interviews for writing Strong Women, Deep Closets, my book about lesbians in sport. I was on sabbatical in California and I called her and introduced myself. She invited me to her home, took me out to lunch and even offered me, basically a total stranger, the use of her car while I was in California. She was a true pioneer in women’s sports. She was a fearless feminist who lived her passion for golf, flying and writing. She inspired me and encouraged me as I struggled through my own self-doubts as a writer.
Betty told me amazing stories about the early days of the LPGA tour and offered insights into how the fear of being called a lesbian haunted the women on the tour during the 1950’s. Remember this was during the McCarthy Era when Senator McCarthy was holding hearings to root out Communists and homosexuals in the national government and other institutions in the U.S. It was the 20th Century version of the medieval witch hunts in Europe and seventeen century United States. Police routinely raided bars frequented by lesbians and gay men, herded the patrons into paddy wagons and newspapers published their names which led to public humiliation, disruptions of personal lives, job loss and terror. The lucky ones escaped out the back door or paid off the police to protect their anonymity.
The last time I saw Betty was about eight years ago when she visited Kathy and I while she was in Boston for some golf business. She hustled us out to the local Stop & Shop to buy the ingredients for the gourmet meal she was planning to cook us. She took over our kitchen and we served as her sou chefs as pots, pans and flour flew. The meal was great and we enjoyed seeing Betty. We just did not know it would be the last time.
Betty was 90 years old when she died this week. Imagine the changes she lived through both in women’s sports and in women’s and LGBT rights. I often think of social change as a relay race with each generation of people running their leg and passing the baton to the next generation with each successive leg of the race building on the hard work and courage of the one before. I like to think I took the baton from Betty and have run my leg in a way that she would be proud of. Tonight, I raise a glass in your honor, Betty. Thanks for being an inspiration and for being my friend.
The answers in this category are:
• Winner of the 1941 U.S. Women’s Amateur Golf Championship.
• 1941 Associated Press Female Athlete of the Year.
• Founder of the Women’s Professional Golf Association, the precursor to the LPGA.
• One of the founding players on the LPGA and contemporary of Babe Didrikson Zaharias.
• Professional woman golfer who, along with Babe Didrikson Zaharias, appeared in “Pat and Mike” the 1952 Hepburn & Tracy movie.
• Golf teacher, golf coach, aviator, flight instructor, author and gourmet cook.
• Inductee into the Women Sports Foundation International Hall of Fame
The question for all of these answers is: Who is Betty Hicks?
Betty Hicks was also the first woman athlete to write about lesbian athletes. Her 1979 article appeared in Christopher Street, a now defunct gay publication. I found it in the early 1980’s while doing my own research on the topic. When I had the opportunity to meet this gutsy and accomplished Renaissance woman I jumped at the chance. I was in the process of gathering information and doing interviews for writing Strong Women, Deep Closets, my book about lesbians in sport. I was on sabbatical in California and I called her and introduced myself. She invited me to her home, took me out to lunch and even offered me, basically a total stranger, the use of her car while I was in California. She was a true pioneer in women’s sports. She was a fearless feminist who lived her passion for golf, flying and writing. She inspired me and encouraged me as I struggled through my own self-doubts as a writer.
Betty told me amazing stories about the early days of the LPGA tour and offered insights into how the fear of being called a lesbian haunted the women on the tour during the 1950’s. Remember this was during the McCarthy Era when Senator McCarthy was holding hearings to root out Communists and homosexuals in the national government and other institutions in the U.S. It was the 20th Century version of the medieval witch hunts in Europe and seventeen century United States. Police routinely raided bars frequented by lesbians and gay men, herded the patrons into paddy wagons and newspapers published their names which led to public humiliation, disruptions of personal lives, job loss and terror. The lucky ones escaped out the back door or paid off the police to protect their anonymity.
The last time I saw Betty was about eight years ago when she visited Kathy and I while she was in Boston for some golf business. She hustled us out to the local Stop & Shop to buy the ingredients for the gourmet meal she was planning to cook us. She took over our kitchen and we served as her sou chefs as pots, pans and flour flew. The meal was great and we enjoyed seeing Betty. We just did not know it would be the last time.
Betty was 90 years old when she died this week. Imagine the changes she lived through both in women’s sports and in women’s and LGBT rights. I often think of social change as a relay race with each generation of people running their leg and passing the baton to the next generation with each successive leg of the race building on the hard work and courage of the one before. I like to think I took the baton from Betty and have run my leg in a way that she would be proud of. Tonight, I raise a glass in your honor, Betty. Thanks for being an inspiration and for being my friend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
