Anti-Gay Name-Calling is “Just A Good Laugh”?

Whenever I work with student-athletes on LGBT issues in sport, I do a short “stand up poll” at the beginning of the session where I ask several questions about their experiences with LGBT teammates, coaches and other LGBT-related topics. Typically, when I ask if anyone has heard anti-gay slurs or comments in the locker room, on the playing field or elsewhere in the athletic environment this school year, most of the room is standing. Next, I ask if anyone has heard coaches or teammates speak up to object to these anti-gay slurs. Typically, everyone sits down to indicate that they have not. Anti-gay slurs are an established, if not accepted, part of school athletic experience. Everyone hears them, but no one stops them.

That might change at Wartburg College in Waverly Iowa. Nicholas Yordi, the quarterback on the football team at Wartburg, was accused of shouting anti-gay slurs out the window of his residence hall room at a gay student passing by. The student contacted campus security and the Wartburg police were called in. Yordi was charged with disorderly conduct for shouting “abusive epithets likely to provoke a violent reaction from the victim.”

In court Yordi called himself “a dumb college kid” and testified that he yells at pedestrians for amusement, “Didn’t mean anything by it. Never have. Just getting a good laugh out of it.” Yordi’s attorney defended his client as “stupid,” “inappropriate” and “insensitive,” but not criminal. His motion to dismiss the charges was denied by the magistrate. The ruling will be made within 30 days and the penalty for a guilty verdict is up to 30 days in jail and a $625 fine.

We can argue about whether or not this case should be heard in a criminal court, but it seems clear that Yordi has not been served well by an athletic culture that accepts anti-gay slurs as just part of day to day interactions. When fans are allowed to target and taunt opposing players, like the University Of Oregon basketball fans taunted Kevin Love and when coaches and teammates use anti-gay slurs or are silent in response to them, young athletes like Nicholas Yordi learn that this is “just a good laugh.”

Whether defended as banter, teasing or taunting, the pervasiveness of anti-gay name-calling in athletics and the silence from school administrators and athletic leaders in response sends a powerful message of acceptance: It’s OK to call someone a “homo” or a “dyke.”

Many LGBT youth develop thick skin in response to the silence from coaches and teachers. I worry about the young people who cannot ignore these epithets so carelessly tossed about the locker room, screamed at opposing players in a game or shouted out dorm windows. Struggling in silence for their own sense of worth, these words don’t bounce off so easily. Do we care that they quit teams rather than endure the daily barrage of “anti-gay banter?” Do we care that they drop out of school or take their own lives? Equally important, do we take any responsibility for the festering homophobia among their straight teammates who think shouting “faggot” at passers-by is a good laugh?

Where did Nicholas Yordi get his “education” about the fun of anti-gay name-calling? If you are a coach, what are your athletes learning? If you are a parent, what are your children learning?

When Fans Cross the Line and Universities Are Weenies About It

On January 24 the University of Oregon men’s basketball team hosted UCLA. One of the UCLA players, freshman Kevin Love, is from Oregon, but chose UCLA, even though his father was a star player at Oregon. The student section, called the Pit Crew, were ready to let Kevin Love know how much they hated him, apparently for exercising his right not to attend the University of Oregon.

They started in on Kevin Love (and his mother and father, who were attending the game) from the warm ups and didn’t let up until the game was over and the court was empty. So what’s the big deal? Lots of college teams encourage the student sections to be loud and rowdy, wear crazy clothes, paint your face, wave towels behind the basket and yell things on foul shots, you know, the home court advantage.

The Pit Crew apparently outdid themselves. If their behavior had happened on the street outside the basketball arena, they probably would have been arrested for harassment, inciting violence, and spewing hate speech. They called Kevin Love a “pussy.” They called him a “bitch.” They called him a “faggot.” Repeatedly. They had long chants about his “sexual orientation” that were too vulgar to write in my blog. They held up signs with more insults and name-calling. They harassed his mother and father so much that they needed extra security to escort them out after the game.

It was disgraceful and disgusting. It was so far over the line that it came back around and went over it again. It was completely inexcusable behavior…and no one in any position of authority at the University of Oregon did anything to stop it. When asked after the game, one official cited free speech concerns as an excuse for the school’s complete failure of responsibility. Free speech. What a cheapening of the concept. This was not free speech. It was hate speech.

The Oregon AD did finally apologize to UCLA, Kevin Love and his family. He also spoke to fans before the next game about their behavior. Too little, too late, in my opinion, but it is a start.

Oregon isn’t the only school where this kind of bigotry masquerades as school spirit and team support during athletic competitions. It is high time that the NCAA, athletic conferences and individual schools step up, as they say, to make sure that this kind of insanity stops. Stop hiding behind “free speech.” Attending a basketball game is a privilege, not a right. Other fans (and their children) and all the players have rights too: The right to enjoy a game, be loud, have fun …without feeling like they need to shower immediately after leaving the game to wash the filth off.

By the way, UCLA won and Kevin Love had a double double. The victory must have been sweet.

Getting Loud and Being Proud at Cal-Berkeley

One of the enduring issues in women’s sports, at both the professional and collegiate levels, is the reluctance to acknowledge lesbian fans. Some teams, like the NY Liberty, have gone as far as add extra security when they got wind of an informal plan among lesbian fans to increase their visibility at games. A few years ago, the Sacramento monarchs, who routinely acknowledge community groups attending the game over the public address system, refused to acknowledge the attendance of a lesbian group because the word “Dyke” was part of their name.

It took the WNBA several years before some teams began to promote games in LGBT media and actively seek out lesbian fans at LGBT pride events and community gathering places. The LPGA still does not embrace the lavender ladies who line the fairways. Attend any women’s competition in most sports, however, and it is clear that lesbians and their families are enthusiastic and loyal sports fans. How could it be anything but homophobia to ignore a significant part of a sport’s fan base?

A few major league baseball teams have begun sponsoring “Gay Day” once during the season, but as far as I know no other men’s professional sports and no men’s collegiate sports have sponsored anything that acknowledges the presence of LGBT fans.

As far as women’s collegiate sports go, few schools make any serious attempts to attract or capitalize on support from the local lesbian and gay community. That is why the University of California women’s basketball game vs. the University of Arizona on February 16 is a real landmark. UC-Berkeley has declared this game “GLBT Pride Day” and, on their publicity poster for the day, they invite LGBT fans to “get loud and be proud.” The poster goes on to invite everyone to “join Cal Women’s Basketball in celebrating the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community and embracing our diversity.” The poster, complete with rainbow flags, is posted on the UC-Berkeley athletics ticket page on the Athletic Department web page. The event is also advertised in the Bay Area Reporter, the local LGBT newspaper.


I think this is a first in women’s collegiate basketball. If I’m wrong, I’d like to know where else schools are sponsoring LGBT Days and advertising the event on the Official Athletic Department web site. I’d love to give credit to all schools who are embracing their LGBT fans as Cal-Berkeley is. Here is a big shout out to Cal Women’s Basketball. If you live in the Bay area, I encourage you to go to the game and call the athletic department and Coach Boyle to let them know you appreciate this event.

Tell Me This is Not Happening

Michelle Stiles, a volunteer girls basketball coach at McKinley High School in Buffalo, NY, was dismissed because of unproven suspicions that she was having sexual relationships with one of her players. The school district superintendent admitted that he had no proof to back up the allegations and no formal investigation was ever conducted. Moreover, Stiles was never formally charged with a crime, even though sex with a minor is a criminal offense. Players on the team and their parents were never notified by the school about any allegations against Stiles. In fact, the players and parents support Stiles and are mystified by the charges. Stiles, who says she is not a lesbian, denies the allegations and is rightfully concerned about how the sex allegations and dismissal will affect her reputation.

It gets uglier. Jayvonna Kincannon, a captain of the basketball and soccer teams and, by all accounts, an excellent student, along with several of her teammates, was upset by Stiles’ dismissal. She used her cell phone during the school day, a violation of school rules, to try to get on the agenda for the school board meeting so the players could express their support for Stiles. The principal gave four of the girls “pending” suspensions for this breach of school rules. Jayvonna was suspended for five days and kicked off the basketball team. When she returned to school, an administrator told her she would be suspended for an additional six weeks; a penalty that violates state law because she was being punished twice for the same “offense.” Not to mention that a six week suspension for using a cell phone in school doesn’t seem quite fair. It seems more likely that Jayvonna was really punished for trying to speak up in defense of her coach.

So, Jayvonna not only cannot play ball, she has fallen behind in all of her school work because teachers have failed to provide her with the work she needed to keep up with what her classmates were doing during her suspension. She served five weeks of her suspension before school officials apparently figured out they were on shaky legal ground with their punishment.

It gets uglier still. Jayvonna was allowed back in school on the condition that she write a letter of apology to the school principal. Say what? It seems to me that the school owes Jayvonna the apology. Jayvonna and her grandmother and guardian agreed to this so that she could get back to school. The school administrators insisted on this little bit of hypocrisy, it seems, to try to save face, but they end up looking more defensive and incompetent.

The final twist to this sordid story is that the boys basketball, track and assistant football coach, James Daye, apparently had it in for Stiles. Stiles had questioned why Daye was spending time at the home of one of her players. She let the matter drop when she was assured that he was there to visit an adult cousin. Daye, according to the press reports, did not let the matter drop. Members of the girls’ basketball team claim that Daye has tried to intimidate them in school and has “warned” them that Stiles is a lesbian. Daye denies any part in Stiles’ dismissal.
The superintendent was quoted in a press conference, “Sometimes there are mistakes that are made. Sometimes we may not make the right decision.” Even using the third person weasel out, this is about the only thing school officials got right, it seems to me.

This story follows another one in a Missouri high school where six girls on the basketball team accused their male coach of sexual misconduct. In that case, school officials dismissed the charges without even talking to the young women who filed the complaints. The day after the coach was reinstated, the girls filed a lawsuit. The coach is back at school. The girls have been harassed in school and on the internet. Their parents have been harassed at work and some have been threatened with dismissal from their jobs for bringing the charges. Because the attorney for the girls is the wife of President of the University of Central Missouri, members of the community are now trying to get him removed from his position.

Look at these cases next to the FGCU situation, the Fresno State lawsuits and the University of North Carolina soccer coach’s sexual harassment case and there are some disturbing patterns:

• Calling a woman coach a lesbian is a popular strategy to try to discredit her, especially if she is protesting sex discrimination in sport or expressing concern about a male coach’s conduct
• Accusing a woman coach of sexual misconduct with one of her female players leads to her immediate dismissal even if the charges are not substantiated (or even investigated)
• A male coach accused of sexual harassment or sexual misconduct with female athletes is defended as a victim and the female accusers are portrayed as vengeful liars
• School administrators need some serious training about legal protocols to follow when sexual harassment and sexual misconduct charges are made, regardless of the gender or sexual orientation of the people involved
• Sexism and heterosexism are alive and well in schools

It seems we still have work to do.

Heeeere's Johnny!

Last night I had planned on watching the UConn Women’s Basketball team trounce Notre Dame, but while cruising through the channels I came upon the U.S. National Figure Skating Championships men’s final free skate.

Evan Lysacek, the defending champion, was in second place to Johnny Weir, the former three time champ, after the short program. Now, I know next to nothing about figure skating (Except that you are not allowed to whack your opponent across the knees with a baseball bat right before the competition. Thank you, Tonya Harding). My own ice skating choreography is limited to the combination of a single toe stumble followed by a double arm windmill culminating in a double cheek butt slam (Ouch). Nonetheless, men’s figure skating in general, and Johnny Weir in particular do capture my attention because, in the words of junior high school students everywhere, it is so gay (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Much to the dismay of national and international skating officials, men’s figure skating has always been perceived as a “gay” sport what with all the sequins, make-up and leotard tops. And truth be told, there probably are lots of gay male figure skaters, a few of whom have come out publicly: Rudy Galindo, Brian Orser, and John Curry to name three prominent gay skaters.

Alas, figure skating governing organizations and judges are very conservative about their gender politics. They like the women to be child-like, frilly and feminine, not too athletic or muscular, please. They like the men to butch it up on the ice: More quad jumps and “classic elegance” (read masculine choreography, whatever that is),” and less “flamboyance” and fewer sequins (read gay). Suffice it to say that men’s figure skating is a teensy bit defensive about its gay image. In pairs competition, heterosexual pairs only, of course. Same-sex pairs are strictly verboten.

Johnny Weir loves sequins. He has described his costumes as “princessy.” He refuses to “butch it up” on or off the ice. Commentators describe his skating style as “lyrical,” “artistic,” and “flamboyant” which, of course, means “gay.” Johnny must drive the figure skating establishment nuts. I bet they were all rooting for Evan Lysacek last night. (FYI, Evan did win even though he and Johnny had the same number of points. Apparently the free skate, which Evan won, carries more weight in the scoring).

Speculation about Johnny’s sexual orientation is rampant on the internet. He certainly gets my gaydar twanging. Johnny, however, has not come out. He maintains that who he sleeps with is no one’s business but his. In a bizarre twist, he has been publicly criticized for not coming out by a really snarky gay guy, Mark Lund, who is head of International Figure Skating and Rudy Galindo, an openly gay former national champion who has taken over Leona Helmsley’s title as the Queen of Mean.

Some heterosexual reporters have defended Johnny’s refusal to identify his sexual orientation on the basis that it is private information. Other commentators claim that it is homophobic for reporters not to ask because the silence assumes being gay is something that should be hidden and creates a double standard when heterosexual athletes’ sexuality is on display for all to know.

I always celebrate when gay, lesbian and bisexual athletes come out. I believe their openness makes it easier for other gay athletes who come after them. I wish they would all just get it over with and tell everyone.

I also know that, because we have not yet won the battle against homophobia in sport, there can be negative consequences for some athletes and coaches who are openly gay. For this reason, we need to respect, or at least understand, their decisions to keep it on the down low. We need to work on changing sport and society so that hiding who you are isn’t necessary. Factor in other things like racism for LGBT athletes of color and sexism for lesbian and bisexual women and the whole coming out thing gets more complicated than just calling the ones in the closet a bunch of scaredy cats.

Plus, we all know how objective figure skating judges are, right? Ok, I know what you probably thinking – Johnny might as well come out because everyone thinks he is gay anyway. Well, maybe he will, but maybe he won’t. Maybe he isn’t. We do keep confusing gender expression with sexual orientation, don’t we? I mean who suspected that Esera Tuoalo, an NFL lineman, was gay? Why not? Because he looked “straight” and played professional football. Some gay men are flamboyant and artistic; others can hide in plain view because they don’t fit our preconceived stereotypes that are mostly based on gender expression, not sexuality. Quentin Crisp said that we are all born naked, the rest is drag. Something we should all remember. Why couldn’t a heterosexual man love sequins too?

In the meantime, I think we should just let Johnny be Johnny – flamboyant, lyrical, artistic and outrageous, and maybe gay. The figure skating establishment may not appreciate it, but Johnny Weir is the most interesting and authentic character on the ice right now and, in the best of worlds, whether he is gay or not really wouldn’t matter. He’s a great skater. Even an accident waiting to happen on the ice like me can see that.

At UNC, Sexual Harassment Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry

Last week, after 10 years, the second sexual harassment lawsuit filed against the highly successful University of North Carolina women’s soccer coach, Anson Dorrance, was settled. Both lawsuits were filed by former players on the women’s soccer team, Debbie Keller and Melissa Jennings. Keller settled out of court in 2004.

The players charged that Dorrance repeatedly initiated discussions and asked questions about the players’ sex lives. At first, Dorrance denied the charges. Then, apparently after the charges were corroborated by witnesses, he described his comments to the players as ‘locker room banter of a joking or jesting nature.” However, the U.S. 4th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled last spring that the charges did constitute sexual harassment and could proceed to trial.

Dorrance finally described his actions as “inappropriate and unacceptable” in a public letter of apology which was required as part of the settlement. To summarize: First, he denied making the comments, then he trivialized the comments as locker room banter, finally he apologized and called his comments inappropriate and unacceptable.

In his apology letter, Dorrance acknowledged that between August 1996 and June 1998, he participated with his players in group discussions of team members’ sexual activities and relationships with men (now there’s a coaching technique he left out of his video).

Then in classic non-apology style, Dorrance said in response to the settlement, "Since August 1998, I have looked forward to clearing my name in court. That is still true today. I understand, though, that after nine years of litigation, it is best for the University, our soccer program and all of us involved in this case for it to end here."

How magnanimous of him! He is only doing what is best for the university and his soccer program and even the women who brought the lawsuit by apologizing! Though he had looked forward to clearing his name, he is letting that go so everyone will benefit. What a guy!

Wait a minute. How can he clear his name when he admits that the charges are true? Oh, never mind.

Isn’t it amazing how an apology can turn around so that it isn’t really an apology at all?

UNC-Chapel Hill Chancellor James Moeser called Dorrance, “a great teacher and leader in advancing women’s opportunities in sports.” He continued, "We have never believed that the case had any merit. We’ve stood by Coach Dorrance since this case started and we stand by him now." So much for student-athlete welfare concerns. So much for taking sexual harassment charges seriously.

Clearly the university believed that Dorrance was the victim here and the two players were the perpetrators. If it weren’t for a required review of the university’s sexual harassment policies by an outside lawyer as part of the settlement, it seems like the university would be happy to move on as if nothing happened. Anson Dorrance is their guy and that’s the end of that.

Since this is an LGBT Sports blog, I have to say that I find it very difficult to imagine a university standing up for a lesbian or gay coach who made sexual comments to players. I even find it hard to believe a straight woman coach making these kinds of comments would be supported.

In the spirit of Coach Dorrance’s apology: I’m sorry if anyone is offended by anything I said in this blog post.

A Big Day at the NCAA

I was at the NCAA convention this weekend in Nashville. I helped plan a panel discussion at the conference called “Time Out! A Conversation about Including LGBT Student-Athletes.” It was definitely a two step forward day in the journey toward social justice in collegiate athletics. I worked with Charlotte Westerhaus, Vice President for Diversity and Inclusion at the NCAA to pull this event together. We had a terrific panel of John Amaechi, gay former NBA player and fabulous spokesperson for social justice in sport; Laurie Priest, out lesbian Athletic Director at Mount Holyoke College and amazing leader in women’s sport (plus she’s darn cute); and Neil Giuliano, executive director of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and former mayor of Phoenix, Arizona. The moderator was Jill Pilgrim, general counsel for the LPGA and, may I say, she set a new standard for me the next time I am asked to moderate a panel.

What made this event so terrific (besides the fact that it happened at all?) Several things:

• It was a great example of what good can come of collaborations between an LGBT education and advocacy organization (It Takes A Team!) and a sport governing organization (the NCAA) to address homophobia in athletics
• The quality of the panel discussion. John, Laurie and Neil were terrific: insightful, personal, funny and knowledgeable. Jill, as I said, was amazing as she directed questions to the panel and also contributed her own perspectives as a heterosexual ally
• The attendance. There were 150-200 people in the room (I’m terrible at estimates like this, but the room was full and it was a big room. I remember doing sessions like this at sport conferences years ago when the only people in the room were a few brave lesbians who believed they were risking their professional reputations by coming into the room.
• The diversity of attendees. This audience included women and men, straight folk and LGBT folk, white folk and folk of color, young people and older folk, coaches, athletic directors and student-athletes.
• Attendees were looking for resources and information: I had an It Takes A Team! resource table outside the room with our DVDs, posters, safe space stickers and a handout on guidelines for addressing LGBT issues in athletics. My goal was to make sure that the table was bare by the end of the panel. Every resource I had with me was taken and I got to go home empty handed. Plus, about 30 people signed up for the It Takes A Team monthly eletter. Contrast this with resource tables I’ve “womaned” in years past at these kind of conventions: People gave me and the table a such a wide berth as soon as they saw the words “lesbian” and “gay” that you’d think talking to a gay person or taking the resources would cause you to be gay (or make others think you were gay)
• National LGBT advocacy organizations like GLAAD are getting on board to help in the fight against homophobia in sport. GLAAD has a new sports desk headed by Ted Rybka, who I met at the panel. I see lots more collaboration ahead between It Takes A Team! and GLAAD.
• Last, but not least, as I sat listening to the panel with my good friend and colleague, Helen Carroll of the NCLR Sports Project, I realized that we are not in this alone anymore. There was a time when I felt like a voice in the wilderness trying to call attention to LGBT issues in sport. On Saturday, Helen and I got to be audience members and appreciate how far we have come and how many organizations and amazing individual people are signing on to address LGBT issues in sport.

Definitely a two step forward day to savor, especially when the one step back days come, as I am sure they will. Thank you, NCAA, Charlotte Westerhaus, Jill Pilgrim, John Amaechi, Laurie Priest and Neil Giuliano for a great day. I smiled all the way home.